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Business Manners
At the University of South Florida, students recently attended a
business etiquette seminar and a related rehearsal dinner. Kimberly
Goddard, a graduate of the Protocol School of Washington, provided a
number of excellent suggestions for updating your manners for the
twenty-first century and "outclassing the competition." Business
communication instructors may wish to share these suggestions with their
students.
Introductions
At social events, place your name tag on the right side of your chest so
that the people you meet will have a clear view of it when they shake
your hand. Don t stand around waiting for introductions to be made.
Introduce yourself. Offer your business or calling card. Address both
married and single women as "Ms." When you introduce two people, name
the person of higher standing first.
Handshakes
Shake the hand of a woman the same way you would shake the hand of a
man. Avoid the extremes–"bone-crushing" shakes and "wimpy fingertip"
shakes.
Table Manners
If you re a vegetarian, tell the server before you sit down so that
special arrangements can be made for you. Don t blow on your soup. Don t
use a toothpick or put on makeup at the table (do it in the restroom).
Don t answer pages or cell phone calls. Turn your pager off, and leave
your cell phone at home. Don t ask for a doggie bag. Don t pick up the
check unless you invited the other diners. If you did, inform the maitre
d at an early stage of the proceedings.
Treatment of Clients
Pick up your clients at the airport personally. Carry their bags and
open doors for them. Assist them at the hotel check-in desk. Stand by in
the hotel lobby while your clients examine their rooms. Do everything
you can to make them feel comfortable and important.
Smoking
Don t light up unless your host or client does. If you do not smoke and
your client or host does, say nothing. Suffer in silence.
Source: Jerome R. Stockfisch, "No Wimpy Handshakes, Please!" The Tampa
Tribune, 9 September 1998, on-line http://www.tampatrib.com/
sections/story2bz.htm [26 September 1998].
Business Manners
Dos and Don ts
Business Manners: They make a major impression on colleagues, employees
and customers. But sometimes, there s only a subtle difference between
saying "the right thing" and "the wrong thing." To get yourself thinking
about the right way to approach the etiquette problems you encounter
each day, browse this handy etiquette reference - and resolve to apply
what you learn to your own work life.
When you want to intrude on a colleague s time. Do say: "May I have a
moment of your time?" Don t say: "Are you busy right now?"
When you want to smoke. Do: Look for a smoking sign, or leave the
premises to light up. Don t: Light a cigarette in a bathroom or corner.
When you accidentally use profanity. Do say: "Please excuse my anger."
Don t say: "I know I shouldn t say things like that, but … makes me so
mad."
When you re wondering when to start eating. Do: Start eating when
you re invited to do so. Don t: "Dig in" at the table before others
begin their meals.
When you re wondering how to address someone you just met. Do: Repeat
his or her entire name slowly and ask for the proper form of address.
Don t: Use a first name unless you re in a social setting or meeting a
peer.
When you re initiating a conversation. Do: Offer pleasantries, and ask
how your conversation partner is feeling. Don t: Inquire about personal
habits or family backgrounds.
When you re not sure how to pronounce an individuals name. Do say: "I m
sorry, but would you pronounce your name for me again?" Don t say: "I
guess I m going to emasculate your name."
When you re running out of time during an appointment. Do: Offer to
make an additional appointment for further questions or comments. Don t:
Summarily end the meeting or anxiously look at the clock.
When you want to make a personal comment to a colleague. Do: Ask to
speak to the individual privately. Don t: Raise the issue during a
meeting.
When you enter a room. Do: Stand until the other individual sits down.
Don t: Place you items on the individual s desk unless he invites you to
do so.
When you hear a rumor. Do: Listen politely and without comment. Don t:
Repeat the rumor or harangue the individual for spreading the rumor.
When a conversation partner is not paying attention to you. Do: Offer a
"mini-pause" of a few seconds, followed by a warm nod of the head or a
smile. Don t: Stop the conversation entirely or bring public attention
to the individual s behavior.
When you re trying to decide how to dress. Do: Dress in approximately
the same style as you expect the individual you are meeting to dress.
Don t: Dress casually.
When you walk into someone s office during inclement weather. Do: Place
your boots in the designated spot, or leave them outside. Don t: Wear
boots into the reception area.
When you re visiting someone and you must pass a reception desk. Do:
Ask permission to go ahead, even if you know the direction to the
individual s location. Don t: Walk by the receptionist without
acknowledging her.
When you take your coat off in someone s office. Do: Ask where coats
should be hung, even if you notice a hook on the wall. Don t: Drape it
over the back of your chair. · When a visitor takes his or her coat
off. Do: Help him with it. Don t: Invite him to put it "anywhere."
When offering material or handouts during a one-to-one meeting. Do:
Indicate what you want the individual to do with them, review them, put
them aside, or look at a particular page. Don t: Give another individual
handout without an explanation.
When you re at a business lunch. Do: Follow the pace of the other
individuals at your table in determining how fast to eat and what to
eat. Don t: Eat or drink at a faster rate than others.
When dealing with a service representative. Do: State your problem
clearly, with a sincere request for help. Don t: Give precise directions
to the service rep, or demand that he or she complete the task in a
certain way.
A final word: pay attention to your surroundings and the people you
meet, and the "right thing to do" will often become apparent. When in
doubt, imagine the actions of courteous, accommodating people you know.
And ask yourself: how would they act in your situation?
Silence:
A Hidden Business Tool
In today s frantic world, silence is not often perceived as a
communication of business tool. Yet, the strategic use of silence -
ranging from five-second pauses in a conversation to extended periods of
quiet - can result in tremendous benefits to those who practice it.
Here are twenty ways you may be able to use silence for your and others
benefit. Ponder the list, pick a few suggestions that may work well for
you, and resolve to practice the powerful art of silence on those many
occasions when you have the opportunity to do so.
Inspire yourself. During periods of silence, the mind has a way of
retreating to gentle thoughts and core values - great destinations when
you re worried or wondering about something.
Build productivity. Quiet time is perfect for focusing on important,
detail-oriented tasks. Want a subordinate or colleague to work on a
project for you? You ll get it done faster if you arrange for the
individual to work in a silent place.
Reduce stress. Tough morning? Too much tension around you? Retreat to a
corner and remain still and silent for a few minutes. You ll bring on
powerful physiological changes in your body that can help calm you and
prepare you for the balance of the day.
Raise your stature. Cultivating the art of graceful silence is one of
the characteristics of successful people. Next time you hear a distorted
comment, angry retort, or biased question thrown at you, remain silent
for a short time. Others will respect you for your thoughtfulness.
Emphasize the seriousness of an action. When it comes time to describe a
vital initiative, or to speak with a subordinate or colleague about
something she s done wrong, let silence play a part in your comments.
After you say what you must say, let your words hang in the air for ten
seconds or so. Your listeners won t forget them.
Get your prospect talking. When you re in the midst of a sales call,
resist the temptation to present every facet of your product or service.
Instead, pause at key junctures, without question or comment…and
listen to the often-revealing thoughts of the prospect.
Raise the esteem of others. Many people are afraid to speak up during
meetings. When you sense fear on the part of a person near you, ask a
general question, something that calls for a thoughtful response…and
then wait. Yes, the individual might be uncomfortable at first, but by
stepping back and giving him center stage for a few moments, you ll give
him the opportunity to build self-confidence.
Analyze your own thinking. Use quiet time to better understand your own
reactions to proposals and ideas. And use this all-important time to
understand your own motives for thinking the way you do.
Create atmosphere. Silence, perhaps punctuated by gentle music, helps
create a warm, inviting atmosphere - perfect for an employee retreat or
a meeting requiring focus.
Generate ideas. While brainstorming is often a frenzied activity, great
brainstorming is frequently preceded by moments of calm silence, time
for participants to gather their thoughts and energy for what follows.
Stimulate discussion. Running a meeting? It s easy for you to dominate
the discussion. But instead of going this route, pose a few problems to
the group and resolve to remain silent while the group grapples with
them. You may be amazed at what comes out of the discussion.
Solve problems. Next time you re faced with a thorny problem, retreat to
a quiet corner. Don t try to force a solution. Just play with the
problem in your mind, and let your latent experience and skills forge a
solution.
Ponder important questions. Has a co-worker or customer asked you an
especially thought-provoking question? Have you read or heard something
that intrigues you? The next step: a period of silence, time to reflect
on the implications of the question, as well as your next step.
Ease conflict. Parents use silent "time-outs" to ease friction in the
home. Leaders in the workplace can use periods of silence to cool
conflicts and set the stage for productive discussion of problems.
Visualize. Rarely can you achieve breakthrough objectives while you re
in the midst of loud or frantic activity. Instead, use quiet time to
"walk through" difficult problems or imagine how you ll achieve
important initiatives.
Emphasize a point. When you want others to remember an important
pronouncement, nothing does it better than a short period of silence.
Gain energy. If you re feeling tired or anxious, a few moments of
silence can help restore equilibrium and clear the mind.
Concentrate. Wise group leaders often call for a moment of silence while
discussing complex issues. The quiet time helps group members collect
themselves and focus their attention on the thorny problems at hand.
Give yourself strength. When you re about to enter a difficult meeting
or engage in a troublesome task, a quiet period helps you marshal your
strength and feel a sense of poise as you prepare for the task at hand.
Learn. When you remain silent and listen intently to the random chatter
that fills your day, you have a powerful opportunity to learn. Listen
for gossip, ideas, and a wide range of commentary about the people and
the world around you. The result: greater knowledge and wisdom that you
can readily put to work.
Questions and answers
Question: How much perfume or cologne is appropriate to wear at the
workplace?
Answer:
Perfume, cologne or aftershave should be applied sparingly, evoking a
subtle scent.
Strong fragrances, as well as, inexpensive fragrances are often
offensive to business associates and therefore inappropriate in a
professional venue.
Question: What is the proper time to arrive for an appointment?
Answer:
What is the proper time to arrive for an appointment? Always arrive on
time for an appointment.---Never arrive late. ---Arrive no more than
five minutes early.
Question: Can I exchange business cards while dining?
Answer:
Business cards should never be exchanged while dining. This is true at
even the most informal dining situations.
Question: How should I exchange gifts with my fellow coworkers at the
office during the holiday season?
Answer:
First, always observe the company s specific gift giving policy. Second,
employees should be discreet when exchanging gifts with one another.
Gifts should be exchanged away from other coworkers, so not to offend
employees not receiving any gifts.
Question: How do I get more privacy in my "cubicle" at work without
being rude to my coworkers?
Answer:
If you are a cubicle worker, who is constantly "challenged" by a lack of
privacy at your workplace, propose to management that a Cubicle Workers
Code of Ethics be established for workers of a common area.
Your manners are always under examination, and by committees little
suspected, awarding or denying you very high prizes when you least think
it.
 Ralph Waldo Emerson
Jacqueline Whitmore is the founder and director of The Protocol School
of Palm Beachâ„¢. She served six years as the protocol officer and
assistant director of public relations for The Breakers - a five-star,
luxury resort in Palm Beach, Florida. She has held management positions
with Sea World of Florida, the Walt Disney World Dolphin Hotel, and
Northwest Airlines.
The Protocol School of Palm Beach™ is Florida’s leading etiquette
and protocol company. Seminars are customized to help you enhance your
self-confidence, heighten your communication skills, outshine your
competition and increase your bottom line. Our goal is to entertain,
educate, motivate and meet the needs of today’s business leaders.
Ms. Whitmore is a frequent contributor to numerous trade and business
publications and is the editor-in-chief of The Protocol Post - an
electronic newsletter for savvy executives. She was recently awarded
“Business Associate of the Year†by the American Business Women’s
Association of North Palm Beach and is a founding member of Palm Beach
County’s Civility Committee.
Whether you are doing business on the telephone, by e-mail, at lunch or
during a conference, you project an image that reflects your entire
corporation, and the wrong image and attitude can be costly. Technical
skills and knowledge account for 15 percent of the reason you get a job,
keep a job and advance in a job. 85 percent of your job success is based
on your “soft skills†or people skills according to research
conducted by Harvard University, The Carnegie Foundation, and The
Stanford Research Institute.
Ms. Whitmore has a Bachelor of Science degree in telecommunication from
The University of Florida. Furthermore, she is a graduate and associate
of The Protocol School of Washington® where she teaches public
relations, marketing and business etiquette to the consultants. A member
of the National Speaker’s Association, she is devoted to combating
incivility in society while promoting courtesy, respect and integrity.
In highly competitive markets where many companies offer similar
services and products at similar costs, how you treat your customers may
be as important to your company s success as the quality or price of
your product. When you possess good manners, it puts your clients and
customers at ease, increases customer satisfaction, and positively
affects your company s bottom line.
Business Etiquette Seminars and Workshops
Technology can be a blessing and a curse. In some ways, it speeds up
the communication process, but in other ways, it slows it down. We are
inundated with so many communication tools – fax, electronic mail,
teleconferencing, postal mail, interoffice mail, voice mail, and others
– that oftentimes we sacrifice face-to-face interaction for
expediency. This lack of "connectedness" can cause communication
breakdowns and produce stress. This informative seminar addresses the
caveats associated with modern technology and offers solutions to help
executives communicate more effectively and eliminate some of the most
common, yet costly, mistakes.
Jacqueline Whitmore offers on-site training seminars to corporations,
colleges and universities, restaurants, associations and non-profit
organizations. Seminars may be conducted in-house or in the venue of
your choice and may be customized to meet your specific needs. The
following is a list of her most popular programs:
In order to establish a relationship that will foster goodwill,
knowledge of international protocol is indispensable in today s global
economy. Going Global is an interactive discussion of cultural
traditions, expectations, and needs of international executives coupled
with an array of practical tips on cross-cultural communication.
Competition in the business arena is fierce and companies are now
looking for persons who can handle themselves at a trade show as well as
in a business meeting or at the computer. Participants learn to
"outclass the competition" with protocol intelligence  the ultimate
business tool.
A business meeting is oftentimes conducted over a meal and many men and
women find themselves grappling with the decision of which fork or knife
to use instead of concentrating on the business at hand. Gain the
assurance and self-confidence needed to conduct business over an
elaborate meal during this comprehensive dining seminar.
A majority of executives break into a sweat thinking about meeting and
making conversation with new acquaintances. According to the Shyness
Research Institute, 88 percent of men and women feel shy at some point.
The study goes on to show that nothing is more frightening to shy people
than chitchat with a stranger. Companies are looking for persons who can
network effectively and adapt to a variety of social and business
situations. Learn the art of schmoozing and gain the self-confidence
needed to work a room with ease.
The meaning of words in blue is explained at the end of the passage. Al
final del pasaje se detalla el significado de las palabras resaltadas en
azul.
You may have the business qualifications. You have an excellent record
of good education and work experience. However, without good business
manners you will not succeed. Treating people with respect should be
second nature to you. It helps to get on well with the people you work
with and with your superiors. It always pays to be polite. Here are some
tips to help your business manners.
If you are behind schedule... Remember to take the time to contact your
next appointment so that the person you are due to meet is aware of the
delay. If necessary, you can rearrange the meeting for a more convenient
time.
2. Return phone calls. Try not to leave any caller on hold for too
long. It is better to tell someone you will call back when you are free.
Be sure to return calls as soon as you can. If you cannot return the
call immediately, apologise to the caller for the delay.
3. Keep paperwork under control. Try to respond to letters within a
set time. Keep a record of requests for reply within a certain time.
Make a note in your diary of other deadlines for your work. If you are
unable to respond quickly, write a short letter to the other person
explaining the delay and tell them when you will reply.
4. Lunch appointments. If you want to take a client or customer out for
lunch, a good rule of thumb is for you to choose the restaurant and for
the client or customer to choose the time.
5. Avoid too much chat. Although it is good to be friendly, do not
spend too much time chatting to colleagues. You have work to do. If a
colleague is distracting you, be polite and say you have some work to
do. Ask if you can carry on the conversation after office hours.
6. Salary. You may think that you are not being paid as much as you
should be. Do not discuss your suspicions with your colleagues. A good
way of finding out is to contact an employment agency to find out the
going rate . Armed with this objective information, you can discuss
your salary with your boss.
Glossary respond (v): reply deadline (n): the day or time that
something must be completed by rule of thumb (coll): a general guide
Source: New English Digest
BUSINESS MANNERS FOR THE 90S. BY ANN CHADWELL HUMPHRIES
SUCCESSFUL PROFESSIONALS MUST UNDERSTAND APPROPRIATE ETIQUETTE WILL
INSTILL CONFIDENCE AND HELP YOU RESPOND EFFECTIVE TO OTHERS IN THE
WORKPLACE . THIS ARTICLE REVIEWS COMMON MISTAKES AND GIVES ADVICE ON HOW
TO AVOID MAKING THEM
BEING RUDE ON THE TELEPHONE
n THIS , THE MOST BUSINESS ETIQUETTE BLUNDER, INCLUDES NOT RETURNING
PHONE CALLS PROMPTLY, AND NOT IDENTIFYING ONESELF AND SCREENING CALLS
ARROGANTLY. ALWAYS RETURN CALLS WITHIN 24 HRS AND PREFERABLY THE SAME
DAY. IDENTIFY YOURSELF AND THE NATURE OF YOUR BUSINESS UP FRONT,
ANTICIPATE RESISTANCE AND BE HELPFUL. And help people get information
they need.e.g what is the nature of the call.
nTHIS , THE MOST BUSINESS ETIQUETTE BLUNDER, INCLUDES NOT RETURNING
PHONE CALLS PROMPTLY, AND NOT IDENTIFYING ONESELF AND SCREENING CALLS
ARROGANTLY. ALWAYS RETURN CALLS WITHIN 24 HRS AND PREFERABLY THE SAME
DAY. IDENTIFY YOURSELF AND THE NATURE OF YOUR BUSINESS UP FRONT,
ANTICIPATE RESISTANCE AND BE HELPFUL. And help people get information
they need.e.g what is the nature of the call.
INTERRUPTING
n LET PEOPLE FINISH THEIR SENTENCES, AND ASK PERMISSION IF YOU NEED TO
INTERRUPT THEIR WORK. DON`T BARGE INTO CONVERSATIONS OR OFFICES WITHOUT
GIVING A SIGNAL/ n TEL CONVERSATION
INTRODUCING PEOPLE INCORRECTLY
Wimpy HANDSHAKE
n WIMPY HANDSHAKES ARE NO NONES. GRAD YOU HANDSHAKE HIGH AROUND THE
THUMBS, AND SHAKE IN KIND. And women get your hand out there. Handshakes
are expected in business life. So learn how to shake hands well..
Incorrect eye contact
n In the U.S looking people in the eye means that you have nothing to
hide, that you are listening and that you are interested.. However in
other cultures eye contact is considered confrontational and
disrespectful.
POORLY MANAGED MEETINGS
n START AND END IN TIME. Distribute agendas ahead of time so that people
can prepare ahead of time.
Poor or inappropriate appearance
n To business executives, appearance is important. It is not the only
measure of a person but it gives visual interest to doing business, and
indicates your knowledge of , and respect for, the rules of the game.
Invest in quality clothing.
Forgetting names
n This is the most common blunder among people in the business
community. One positive suggestion to remember some ones name is to
repeat it as soon as you hear it.. However don`t overuse the persons
name. Make sure to introduce yourself and the people around you. Help
out someone who is struggling to remember your name.
Business Protocol in JapanBusiness Protocol in Japan
Business manners in Japan
In Japan, there are ranks for seats such as "kamiza" - the best seat -
or "shimoza" - the most humble seat. We have protocol that those with
high standing take "kamiza" - the farthest seat from a doorway that is
the best seat, and those with lower standing take "shimoza" - the
nearest seat from a doorway that is the most humble seat. Though
in-house seating arrangements follow one s title, it is polite to offer
visitors "kamiza" - the best seats - regardless of their titles.
However, when one visits as a guest and is not offered the best seat,
one takes the most humble seat. There is also a seating order in cars. A
highest-ranking person takes a seat behind a driver. Next to him or her,
a middle-ranking person takes a seat. A lowest-ranking person takes a
seat next to the driver.
Bibliography: The Japan Times, "Today s Japan Introduced in English"
Sanseido Co., Ltd., "Daijirin - Second Edition" Kyorin Shobo, "Business
Manners A to Z" Nihon Hyoronsha, "The Art of Negotiation with
Foreigners" "Dictionary of Historical Events and Proverbs"
Silence is golden and eloquence is silvery
Example:
Trouble at work caused a misunderstanding and a relationship with my
colleague was damaged. I defended myself very hard to restore the
relationship but the misunderstanding deepened further.
Comments and advice:
There is a saying, "Silence is golden and eloquence is silvery." It
means that silence is superior to eloquence. Even though one has good
reasons, there are occasions when it is advantageous not to speak
eloquently but ask for their understanding without saying anything
depending on the situation. Bibliography: The Japan Times, "Today s
Japan Introduced in English" Sanseido Co., Ltd., "Daijirin - Second
Edition" Kyorin Shobo, "Business Manners A to Z" Nihon Hyoronsha, "The
Art of Negotiation with Foreigners" "Dictionary of Historical Events and
Proverbs"
How to get along with one s boss
My boss pointed out a mistake at work. I gave my boss an explanation
calmly that the mistake was not mine but my subordinate s. Then, my boss
scolded me, "I don t want to hear such an excuse."
Comments and advice:
Before giving an explanation, it is important to apologize first and
then to express one s gratitude by saying, "Thank you very much." This
attitude applies not only for one s boss but also for all of one s
elders. Since Japan has a tradition to respect one s elders, it is
important to show one s respect for their seniority even though they are
only one year older. One may be invited by one s boss or elders to
dinner or a drink. This is to show their appreciation and one may have
smooth human relations by drinking together.
Bibliography: The Japan Times, "Today s Japan Introduced in English"
Sanseido Co., Ltd., "Daijirin - Second Edition" Kyorin Shobo, "Business
Manners A to Z" Nihon Hyoronsha, "The Art of Negotiation with
Foreigners" "Dictionary of Historical Events and Proverbs"
"Say It Better in All That You Do"
1. Are you more likely to get along with someone when you are
a. "sidling", standing side by side with them, or
b. when you are facing them?
2. Which sex tends to face stand side by side when they are speaking to
someone of the same sex?
a. female
b. male
3. How can you increase the chances of knowing if someone is lying, when
you are facing them?
a. by noticing if their facial expression seems off or somehow not
right.
b. by noticing if the timing or duration of their experience (that is
when they put on and take off the facial expression they use when
speaking about the possible lie).
c. by noticing if the timing or duration of their expression seems off;
that is if they appear to put an expression on too soon or too late.
4. If you want to hold someone s attention longer, should you wear a.
a. patterned, or
b. unpatterned clothing on the upper part of your body
5. Which of the five senses evokes the most directly emotional response?
a. sight.
b. scent.
c. sound.
d. touch.
e. taste.
6. Which sex has a better sense of smell?
a. female.
b. male.
7. If you want to increase the chances that people will remember what
you say, should you:
a. sit with them or
b. walk with them?
8. Are people more likely to remember a written or spoken
a. specific detail, or
b. sweeping conclusion.
9. Americans are much more likely to write and speak in
a. specific details, or
b. sweeping conclusions.
10. People are far more revealing in the
a. questions they ask.
b. answers they give.
11. People are more emotional when they are
a. moving.
b. still.
12. Once someone has talked about something, he is
a. more likely to have a deeper opinion about it.
b. less likely to have a deeper opinion about it or have no change in
feeling.
13. When someone becomes fearful or aroused . . . his eye pupils
a. constrict.
b. dilate.
14. When someone becomes fearful or aroused his skin temperature goes
a. up.
b. down.
15. When someone becomes fearful or aroused his peripheral vision
a. widens.
b. narrows.
16. When someone becomes fearful or aroused his heartbeat
a. increases.
b. decreases.
17. Those who are perceived as powerful and credible when other first
meet them are more likely to begin the interaction by . . .
a. speak up initially.
b. say little initially.
18. Those who are perceived as powerful and credible when other first
meet them are more likely to begin the interaction
a. with some expansive hand or arm gestures.
b. with few or no hand or arm gestures.
19. Those who are perceived as powerful and credible when other first
meet them are more likely to begin the interaction by speaking
a. sooner, quicker and higher at first
b. lower, slower and less at first
20. People instinctively react sooner and more strongly to other s
actions that appear to them to be
a. positive
b. negative.
Answers - "Say It Better in All That You Do"
1. You are more likely to get along with someone when you are
b. when you are facing them.
2. Which sex tends to face stand side by side when they are speaking to
someone of the same sex?
b. male
3. You increase the chances of knowing if someone is lying, when you are
facing them
b. by noticing if the timing or duration of their experience (that is
when they put on and take off the facial expression they use when
speaking about the possible lie).
4. If you want to hold someone s attention longer, you should wear an.
b. unpatterned clothing on the upperpart of your body
5. Which of the five senses evokes the most directly emotional response?
b. scent
6. Which sex has a better sense of smell?
a. female
7. If you want to increase the chances that people will remember what
you say, you should
b. walk with them
8. People are more likely to remember a written or spoken
a. specific detail
9. Americans are much more likely to write and speak in
b. sweeping conclusions
10. People are far more revealing in the
a. questions they ask (than the answers they give)
11. People are more emotional when they are
a. moving
12. Once someone has talked about something, they are
a. more likely to have a deeper opinion about it
13. When someone becomes fearful or aroused . . . their eye pupils
b. dialate.
14. When someone becomes fearful or aroused their skin temperature goes
a. up .
15. When someone becomes fearful or aroused their peripheral vision
b. narrows.
16. When someone becomes fearful or aroused their heartbeat
a. increases.
17. Those who are perceived as powerful and credible, when others first
meet them are more likely to begin the interaction by . . .
b. saying little intially
18. Those who are perceived as powerful and credible when others first
meet them are more likely to begin the interaction
b. with few or no hand or arm gestures.
19. Those who are perceived as powerful and credible when others first
meet them are more likely to begin the interaction by speaking
b. lower, slower and less at first.
20. People instinctively react sooner and more strongly to other s
actions that appear to them to be
b. negative.
Failing to observe good etiquette is bad manners, bad for business
Elizabeth Fountain
Since Confucius wrote the first rules of decorum, etiquette has been
questioned, changed and argued as to its importance. Some argue the need
for it, others want to know where to learn it and then there are people
who ask why something is appropriate in one country and deemed totally
unacceptable behavior in another part of the world. Finally, there are
the little truisms that all gentlemen were taught by their mothers, such
as ladies first. In today s business arena, the "ladies first" rule
could actually provoke a few women to incivility.
Knowing etiquette is becoming more important because these rules help
guide us through a variety of situations in our ever-shrinking and
changing world. All of us can attest to situations in which, if we had
known what do, it could have saved us embarrassment or even a job.
A favorite story is a dinner in Charleston, S.C., where the saleswoman
invited her very sophisticated client and his wife to dinner to
celebrate the signing of a large construction contract. The owner of the
Kansas City construction company insisted on going to the dinner with
the saleswoman.
The saleswoman watched her commission dissipate while her boss picked
his teeth with fish bones and impressed the party by using a commonly
used expletive as five different parts of speech. Instead of using his
dinner napkin to wipe his mouth, the boss wiped out the deal when he
used it to blow his nose.
The following day the contract was rescinded.
The boss was so intimidated by the refined people that he compensated
for his lack of sophistication with a laissez faire attitude. In
consequence, he ruined a lucrative deal, tarnished the image of his
company and threw away the saleswoman s hard-earned commission.
Had he possessed some etiquette skills, all of this could have been
avoided and everyone could have enjoyed a delightful evening,
strengthening a business relationship.
Possessing good etiquette is also knowing when to put on the Ritz and
when to do the Motel 6. There are situations where formalities would be
totally out of place and viewed as ostentatious because the occasion
calls for more casual behavior. Good examples of this are wearing a fur
coat to do your grocery shopping of having your wife wear her jewels to
a company picnic.
Snobbism is also bad etiquette. A group of people took a new associate
to lunch. The newcomer felt compelled to do some one-upmanship that
backfired. When it was his turn to order, he asked the server if the
sole on the menu was Dover Sole. Even though the server was extremely
busy as the restaurant was packed with diners, he insisted that the
server find out because he only eats Dover Sole.
The fish was of the Dover persuasion, so he ordered it. After tasting
his entree, he commented that it was the best Dover Sole he had ever
eaten.
No sooner had he made his claim than the woman sitting across from him
told the server that she had ordered chicken and not the fish dish that
was sitting in front of her. As it turned out, Mr. Sophisticated Palette
was eating chicken.
Another major faux pas is to pretend that you are someone you are not or
to lead people to believe certain things. A woman would describe her
father s profession to potential suitors as if he were an executive at
Farmland Industries when, in actuality, he was a pig farmer in Southern
Missouri. Another woman would tell social acquaintances that her father,
a milkman, was in the creamery business.
Then there are those situations where a person s lack of sophistication
is brought to his or her attention in a humiliating way, also an
etiquette taboo.
Several people went to lunch at the elegant Garden Room at the Broadmoor
Hotel in Colorado Springs, Colo. Upon arrival, they realized that the
hotel only accepted cash or the Broadmoor credit card. None of them had
a Broadmoor credit card, so after a quick tabulation, they were
comfortable with the fact that they had more than enough cash among them
to pay for the lunch.
When the server asked for the drink order, one of the party, who comes
from a very humble background, asked how much a glass of house wine
cost. The server gingerly answered the question and quickly walked away
from the table. The rest of the party s embarrassment was heightened
when the maitre d hotel approached them and asked if they had enough
money to pay for lunch.
Incivility, rudeness and lack of etiquette are common occurrences in our
daily lives. Television, radio, newspapers and magazines are filled with
stories about dishonorable people. However, in this column you will be
able to share your positive experiences regarding random acts of
kindness, generosity and the infectiousness of common courtesies. You
will have the opportunity to create maybe a moment of fame for those who
truly deserve it.
For some readers, this column simply might have stimulated some food for
thought or even sparked controversy, which you would like to share. You
might have some etiquette questions that you would like to have answered
or perhaps there are some bones of contention that you will be able to
settle once and for all. You are encouraged and invited to write us with
whatever your pleasure might be.
Elizabeth Fountain is owner of The Elizabeth Fountain Co., an Overland
Park company that provides consulting and training in the areas of
business protocol and social etiquette.
Interview Preparation
Below are questions you may be asked in the interview
Tell me about yourself? (try to hold your response to 2 minutes)
What do you know about our company?
Why should we hire you?
What can you do for us that someone else can t?
What do you look for in a job?
What skills and qualifications are essential for success in the position
of ______?
How long would it take for you to make a meaningful contribution?
How does this assignment fit into your overall career plan?
Describe your management style.
What do you believe is the most difficult part of being a supervisor of
people?
Why are you looking for a new career?
How would your colleagues describe you?
How would your boss describe you?
How would you describe yourself?
What do you think of your present or past boss?
What were the five most significant accomplishments in your last
assignment?
What were the five most significant accomplishments in your career so
far?
Can you work well under deadlines or pressure?
How much do you expect if we offer you this position?
Why do you want to work for us?
What other positions are you considering?
Have you kept up in your field with additional training?
What are your career goals?
What are your strong points?
What are your weak points?
How did you do in school?
What position do you expect to have in 2 to 5 years?
If you took the job what would you accomplish in the first year?
What was wrong with your current or last position?
What kind of hours are you used to working or would like to work?
Do you have your reference list with you?(Remember don t give it out
unless it is asked for).
Can you explain your salary history?
What questions didn t I ask that you expected?
Do you have any question for me?
Netiquette: minding your manners online
Netiquette is the set of conventions or the etiquette of communicating
with other users over computer networks. It might sound like a simple
thing to do, but there are quite a few caveats associated with
communication on networks, especially the Internet.
Some of the general guidelines to keep in mind when communicating
on-line are:
Remember that you are are communicating with other people. Tone and
gestures are not included in text--make yourself clear
Be concise
Make sure messages are relevant
Abide by University policies governing the use of your account
These guidelines apply to all net communication including, but not
limited to, private e-mail, mailing lists, and USENET newsgroups.
Communicating with other people
On the Internet it s easy to forget that the person on the other end is
human, too. Since communication is not face-to-face you don t have the
benefit of facial expressions, gestures, and intonation that normally
give additional meaning to a conversation. Without nonverbal cues, you
have to take more care in what you are saying so that it s not
misconstrued and also be more careful in interpreting other people s
words. Facetiousness, satire, and subtlety are often lost or confused
with anger or some other emotion.
Several conventions are used for showing intent or mood when writing
electronic messages. First, to indicate to others that you are not
serious, you can use one of the following:
:-) smiley face
words in brackets
;-) other variations on the smiley face (this is a wink)
You can add emphasis to your message by using underscores (such as in
_last_week_) or asterisks (*finally*). These conventions can help
recipients figure out where emphasis should be placed.
Another way of showing emphasis is to type a word in all capital
letters. This convention should be used very sparingly. TYPING IN ALL
CAPITALS IS USUALLY INTERPRETED AS SCREAMING OR SHOUTING ON THE INTERNET
AND ALSO MAKES MESSAGES HARD TO READ. Never post your entire message in
all capitals! You will, at best, get many messages (flames) chastising
you for doing so.
Be concise
All messages should be as short and concise as possible. Long messages
are often considered too troublesome to read. If your message is more
than a few lines long, divide your text into paragraph-sized "chunks" so
it is easier to read.
When replying to someone, another basic guideline for making your
message more understandable is to quote parts of the original message .
It is neither necessary nor good manners to include the entire message
when including the original message. Make it standard practice to
include only those parts relevant to your reply. If you are posting a
public reply (either to a group, listserv, or newsgroup) always retain
the original author s name. Issues of libel and copyright are involved
here, and people appreciate getting credit for their words. If you are
not sure who the original author was, say so.
Keep messages relevant
Make sure all messages you post (on USENET or on listserv discussion
groups) are relevant to the newsgroup s subject. For example, you
probably wouldn t post a message about women s rights to a group that is
devoted to football. Also avoid posting advertisements to a large number
of groups at once. Users of the Internet are rarely interested in what
you have to sell when they are reading a group called alt.humor.puns.
Abide by University policies
Remember that laws governing US postal mail also apply to e-mail. Using
e-mail or other net resources to harass others is forbidden. Harassment
on the net will be dealt with severely. Harassment includes, but it is
not limited to, threatening or slandering another person, repeatedly
sending unwelcome messages to another person, and sending chain letters.
You should also:
Never use someone else s files without their permission
Use only the account and equipment for which you are authorized
Do not copy copyright-protected material, articles or software
Developing Business Etiquette
What Recent Grads Should Know on the Job:
Competition: Be the Best
¨ You are in competition with other grads and employees to get your
next promotion.
Honesty and Integrity
¨ Companies expect a higher degree of honesty than what was expected in
school.
Work Hours
¨ Be expected to work long hours your first year because you really
have two jobs: 1) being productive on your job and 2) learning about
your company, products, and people.
Attendance/Absences
¨ Avoid absenteeism.
Timeliness
¨ Be on time or early on deadlines. Be five minutes early for meetings.
This will allow you to have time to get to know people.
Neatness
¨ Management sees neatness as organized and precise. Appear to be neat.
Workloads
¨ Volunteer for special projects. Too much work? Ask your supervisor
for priorities. Too little work? Ask for more. NEVER over-promise.
Breaks and Lunch Opportunities
¨ Use breaks and lunch to meet and get to know others. Learn your
company’s customs.
Perception is Reality
¨ Never underestimate others’ opinions of you. Their opinions can be
just as important as your accomplishments.
Getting your Money’s Worth
¨ Make sure your company is getting their money’s worth from you!
Understanding Organizational Charts
Understand the value of an organizational chart in learning employees’
roles, their jobs, authority, and reporting relationships. If you have
the knowledge of both formal and informal organizations you will be
better able to make predictions and achieve your goals.
Teamwork
¨ Learn to work with various teams
¨ Meet your deadlines when working on teams
¨ Learn your role in decision making in teams
Communication Skills
Use your verbal skills in influencing others. When using written
communication skills, be aware of:
1. Clarity and Brevity: Short and concise
2. Least Formal Rule: Verbal before written, note before memo, memo
before letter, etc.
3. Cool Down Rule: Hold overnight any words written in anger
Making Mistakes Positive: Use six steps to show excellence
1. Establish preventative procedures
2. Analyze mistakes, prepare solutions
3. Admit and recommend a solution
4. Maximize effort to correct mistakes
5. Change preventative procedures
6. Communicate to management
Developing a Business Image
¨ The best professional image is one that is professional and fitting
for your company, location, and responsibilities. The goal is to fit in.
Keeping your Personal Life Personal
¨ Control your spending
¨ Avoid the swinging singles stereotypes
¨ Find out your company’s acceptable standards
Dinner Etiquette
Did you know that…
¨ Dessert utensils are placed above your dinner plate?
¨ You should use no more than two packs of sugar/sweetener in your tea?
It may be seen as excessive.
¨ Condiments are passed to the right, and food is passed to the left?
¨ You always pass the salt and pepper together, even if someone only
asks for salt?
¨ You always wait for everyone to be served before you begin eating?
¨ As soon as everyone is seated, you unfold your napkin and place it
across your lap? If you need to leave the table, place your napkin on
your chair, not on the table!
¨ Sitting with your legs crossed at the table is a no-no? Feet should
be flat on the floor or crossed at the ankle.
Six Tips on Gender Relations in the Business Arena
Business etiquette is based on hierarchy and power unlike social
etiquette which is based on gender and chivalry. No-one should be given
special treatment in the business arena because of gender. Everyone
should be treated equally well.
The most important person in the hierarchy of any company is the client.
Persons of lesser importance are introduced to persons of greater
importance, regardless of gender. The name of the most important person
is said first.
Doors are held for persons more senior in rank, regardless of gender.
Whoever gets to the door first, and it should be low person on the totem
pole, holds a door for the others following. If it is a revolving door,
low person goes first to get the door moving, then waits on the other
side.
Whoever is closest to the elevator doors exits first.
At business functions neither men nor women are helped with their chairs
unless they need it.
Both men and women should be helped with their coats IF they are clients
or more senior in rank.
Tips for Smokers
Smoking is not only hazardous to your health, it can be hazardous to
your career.
Smoking is now considered a sign of weakness rather than a sign of
sophistication. In fact, smoking now has strong ethnic and class
associations.
Never light up if you don’t see an ashtray.
Because of possible legal repercussions to you or to the establishment,
never smoke in an ‘no-smoking’ establishment.
Never ask, "May I smoke?" even if you see an ashtray and your host is
not smoking.
Always ask your visitors if they mind you smoking.
When you do smoke, always keep an eye on the direction of your smoke and
make sure it is not blowing into someone else’s face.
Be neat; never litter with your ashes or your cigarette butts.
If smoking is allowed in restaurants in your area, always ask your guest
beforehand if smoking or non-smoking seating is preferred.
Never smoke in between courses while dining. Wait until coffee is served
at the end of the meal.
Never smoke while others are still eating.
Never smoke a cigar or a pipe in a restaurant unless it is a
‘cigar-smoking’ establishment.
Never smoke a cigar or a pipe in someone else’s home unless the host
invites you to join him in a cigar, preferably in a well-ventilated
area.
In a smoking environment, it is polite to offer others a cigarette if
you light up.
If a non-smoker tells you your cigarette is an irritant, be considerate
and move elsewhere or extinguish the cigarette; your smoke is invading
their space.
6 Tips for a Good Handshake
Handshakes are the only acceptable physical contact for men & women in
the business arena.
Handshakes are the universally accepted business greeting. Hugs & kisses
are taboo in the business arena.
You are judged by the quality of the handshake.
A good handshake:
keep the fingers together with the thumb up and open
slide your hand into the other person s so that each person s web of
skin between thumb and forefingers touches the other s
squeeze firmly.
A proper handshake:
is firm, but not bone-crushing
lasts about 3 seconds
may be "pumped" once or twice from the elbow
is released after the shake, even if the introduction continues
includes good eye contact with the other person
Extend a hand when:
meeting someone for the first time
meeting someone you haven t seen for a while
greeting your host(ess)
greeting guests
saying good-bye to people at a gathering
someone else extends a hand
Handshaking Tips:
if your hands tend to be clammy, spray them with antiperspirant at least
once a day.
avoid giving a cold, wet handshake by keeping your drink in the left
hand.
F*I*R*S*T *G*E*T *G*O*O*D
"It is not to culture that one must adapt, but to culture as manifest
and encountered in the behavior of individual foreigners." - Craig
Storti
Meetings, conventions and trade shows account for almost half of all
business travel according to a Survey of Business Travelers by the U.S.
Travel Data Center. With the globalization of business opportunities,
these meetings increasingly are held abroad. But, the moment you or your
attendees board an international flight, the rules of the game change.
What flies in Peoria won t get you where you want to go in Paris, Prague
or Pago-Pago. There is a great deal of truth to that old adage, "When in
Rome...".
To interact successfully with associates in another country, it s
helpful to adjust to the communication style of the other person s
culture. It can take months or years to feel completely comfortable and
conversant in that culture, but it s possible with just a little
research to find the basic information that will eradicate the major
faux pas and grievances. FIRST GET GOOD is a simple anagram of the eight
aspects of international etiquette and the four guiding principles of
international interactions to help you prepare for an international
business trip.
Forming Relationships: Only in the Germanic countries will the people be
as eager to get down to business as in the United States of America.
Almost anywhere else in the world, but especially in Asian and Latin
countries, it s important to first get to know the person with whom
you re dealing to build a bond of trust. Three F s of business in Asian
cultures are family, friends and favors. If you re not part of an
extended Asian family or if you don t have close Asian chums from your
school days, find the time to develop a friendship with a well connected
intermediary. Relationships, once formed, are long lasting bonds of
loyalty that must be respected.
Information and Communication: If you have no idea how someone from
another culture communicates either verbally or non-verbally, you can t
possibly negotiate effectively. All Asian cultures put a great deal of
emphasis on the concept of face. In order to save face, theirs or yours,
you will seldom get a direct answer, especially if it s "no". You will
hear "yes" a great deal, but that doesn t signify agreement, only
acknowledgement. In the homogenous Japanese culture, emphasis is placed
on non-verbal communication, "speaking from the belly", to understand
someone. However, it s difficult to heed non-verbal clues when you re
uncomfortable with silence.
When you do speak, your style may be the staccato of a tabloid headline,
while the other person s may be that of a flowery, turgid historical
romance. Even if the pace and style are in sync, the amount of
information conveyed in the choice of words might be totally at odds.
Americans are very direct in their speech and don t beat around the bush
with implied meanings and innuendos. As a result, Latins often consider
us uncultured and lacking in refinement.
Nowhere is this more evident than in our ability to toot our own horns.
In group-oriented cultures such as the Japanese, "the protruding nail
gets hammered down" according to an old saying. Not only is
self-effacement practiced, singling someone out with a compliment can be
considered very offensive!
Pay heed to your volume, vocal quality, tone of voice and posture
because they indicate good breeding. Learn to listen and remember that,
when in doubt, modesty is the best policy.
Rank and Status: One of the first indicators of rank and status in any
culture is appearance. In most societies, people dress to maintain their
public image and their status rather than to be comfortable or to follow
the dictates of fashion. Your dress signals your self-respect, your
respect for the organization you represent and, most important, respect
for the person with whom you are negotiating. When in doubt err on the
side of conservatism and formality.
Err, too, on the side of age and the masculine gender when in doubt
about the rank within a group. But, don t make the mistake of snubbing
the younger members. In the group oriented cultures of Asia, and
especially Japan, decision making is by consensus from the bottom up. In
the Latin group oriented cultures, decision making is usually a very
steep top down process.
Greetings and introductions are a clear indicator of status, even in our
culture when executed properly. Who acknowledges whom, how deeply one
bows, and how long speaks volumes. If you haven t mastered the
intricacies, stick to the handshake, but don t expect to get the solid
American type. It s gauche in France to pump more than once from the
elbow. Remember, too, to have plenty of bilingual business cards on hand
wherever you go.
One of the most confusing aspects of meeting people with foreign names
is not knowing which is which. Learn which cultures place the surname
first so you won t be addressing someone with the Chinese equivalent of
"Mr. Bob". Never call someone by the first name unless you are
specifically asked to do so; virtually nowhere else are people as
informal in the manner of address as in the United States. Don t forget
the honorifics or titles that go with the name. They are usually a point
of pride. In Germany you might use a whole string of titles to address
someone, and in Italy it s an honor to be addressed by your profession.
Space: Space is one of those seemingly inconsequential aspects of human
interaction that can have major consequences elsewhere. The American
personal bubble of space is much greater than that of an Arab or a
Russian, but much smaller than that of a Briton. Infringing upon
another s personal space or inadvertently backing away when they enter
your bubble can send unintended negative messages. Touching someone - a
hand on the forearm, an arm around the shoulder, a pat on the back - is
one of the easiest ways to violate personal space. When touch crosses
gender lines, the consequences can be dire! Keep your hands to yourself.
Space in the business environment can also impact upon negotiations.
Many Europeans don t understand the American need for ample space, and
all aspects of the space booked for an event should be clearly spelled
out, never overlooking any needed storage facilities. More important,
the way offices are set up in other countries affects information flow.
A great many more people than you can imagine may be privy to your
business.
Time: Differing attitudes toward time are the major source of annoyance
in international interactions, yet few people give it much thought. How
far in advance appointments and bookings must be scheduled, and to what
extent punctuality is stressed or ignored are all important
considerations to remaining in control during negotiations. It can be
totally unnerving when a task-oriented, linear American, who considers
time a commodity to be managed, is confronted with a
relationship-oriented Arab, Asian, or Latin, who considers time as
flowing and flexible, beyond human control, and to be accepted whatever
happens and regardless of who may interrupt and how frequently the
interruptions may occur. It pays to develop some flexibility to avoid
angry outbursts.
Gift Giving: When going abroad, especially on business, Americans worry
more about gift giving than any other aspect of international etiquette.
Except in Japan, it is seldom as important as Americans think it might
be. That doesn t mean you can overlook your homework. Giving too much
and too often can be just as offensive. Always consider the basic
questions: To whom must you give gifts, what should you give or avoid
giving, when should you give it, and how should it be presented? The
answers vary from culture to culture, so be prepared.
Entertaining: As a foreigner, you can expect to be entertained, often
quite lavishly. If you re dealing with the Chinese, you are also
expected to honor them by reciprocating before the end of your trip. In
other cultures the reciprocity may not be as blatant, but may be present
none the less. Find the answers to the basic questions involving who,
where, when, how and how much!
While all this entertaining is going on, never forget that table manners
count everywhere; yours, however, may not be theirs. Eating with
chopsticks or with your hands can be the least of it. Slurping, burping
and drinking from each other s glass may be just a few of the acceptable
behaviors.
Entertainment is seldom complete without toasts to honor guests and
host. A few well-chosen words can get you further than hours over the
bargaining table, so give thought to some appropriate toasts beforehand.
Taboos and Sensitivities: Taboos and Sensitivities vary from culture to
culture, sometimes without apparent rhyme or reason. It s simply
necessary to learn beforehand what they are. The most common taboos and
sensitivities stem from politics, religion, ethnicity, geography, gender
or misunderstood humor. Jokes don t travel or translate well, so as a
rule, leave home without them, and you ll be less likely to offend.
The New Golden Rule: The first guiding principle of international
interactions is the new Golden Rule, "Do unto others as they would have
you do unto them." That sounds simple, but the effect can be profound
because you no longer set yourself up as the arbiter of acceptable
behavior for someone from another culture.
Manners Mom Never Taught You Etiquette...what do you think of when you
hear that word? Emily Post? Miss Manners? Or confusion because the do s
and don ts of acceptable social behavior we learned as children don t
mesh with today s business environment? The business world our parents
knew was predominantly a homogenous, Eurocentric, male environment where
everyone innately understood the code of conduct. Now, the business
arena has changed. The civil rights movement. The mass entry of women
into the work place in the 70 s. And it continues to evolve with passage
of the Americans with Disabilities Act and globalization of the economy.
To successfully navigate the hazardous waters of the business arena of
the 90 s and communicate successfully with all the diverse elements in
that environment, mastering business etiquette has become an imperative.
Let s examine the underlying differences between social and business
etiquette and some of the social rules that need adjustment and we ll
take a fresh look at some of the social rules that should have made the
transition to the workplace, but seem to have slipped through the
cracks.
BUSINESS VS. SOCIAL ETIQUETTE: The most important difference between
business and social etiquette is that social etiquette is based on
chivalry, on the concept that the little lady has to be coddled and
protected, whereas business etiquette has military origins. It is based
on hierarchy and power. So how does that affect behavior? First of all,
gender was not an issue in the office 30 or 40 years ago, and gender has
no place in business etiquette today. But, and it s a big but, women are
no longer ancillary to the men. Men and women are now treated as peers.
You hold the door open for a woman if you would hold it open for a man
in the same situation. Doors are held open for superiors, for clients,
for peers following close on your heels and for anyone who is loaded
down with packages, regardless of your gender or theirs. But, if it s a
revolving door, you would precede all those people into the door to get
it moving, then wait on the other side. Men do not jam up elevators by
trying to let the woman out first, unless of course she happens to be
your CEO or your client. Whoever is closest to the elevator doors, man
or woman, exits first. A woman will not be perceived as a competent
professional if she acts or is treated according to chivalry. A man who
treats a female client or colleague in a chivalrous manner will be
perceived as condescending and create hostility. In the current economic
climate, we cannot afford to offend. Those peers with disabilities must
also be treated with the same respect accorded any professional. In
addition, there are a few additional rules that must be learned to
accommodate their physical needs, like not raising your voice to be
heard by a person who is blind or putting someone s crutches out of the
way and out of their reach. Employing a bit of common sense will provide
you with the appropriate behavior. Otherwise, ask. People with
disabilities prefer to be asked for guidance rather than deal with that
embarrassed evasion from those who are discomfited by the disability.
The new Golden Rule for everyone is to treat others as they themselves
would like to be treated. Let s look at a few other areas where
business and social etiquette differ.
INTRODUCTIONS: First, introductions. Introductions are one of the most
important aspects of our daily life, but few people know how to make
them properly. In the social arena, men are introduced to women. In the
business arena, the person of lesser importance, regardless of gender,
is introduced to the person of greater importance, regardless of gender.
But, always remember that the name of the person being introduced is
mentioned last, the person to whom the introduction is made is mentioned
first. The rule, then, is "Mr. or Ms. Greater Authority, I d like to
introduce Mr. or Ms. Lesser Authority." I ll repeat that, "Mr. or Ms.
Greater Authority, Mr. or Ms. Lesser Authority." But, who holds the
highest position in any organization? The client. The client is more
important than anyone in your organization, even if the client holds a
lesser title than the executive in your firm.
HANDSHAKES & NAME TAGS: The accepted physical greeting to accompany
introductions is the handshake. Kissing entered the business arena with
women, and it has caused more confusion than any other aspect of
male-female etiquette. Men and women must be treated equally in the
workplace; you can t shake hands with one and kiss the other. Women
should learn to greet even their good friends with a handshake if they
don t want to send confusing signals. Men have an advantage in that
their fathers often took them aside as boys and said, "Son, let me teach
you how to shake hands like a man." Unfortunately, few of our mothers
took the girls aside to teach us to shake hands like a woman. So, let s
take a moment to learn to shake hands like a business person. Humans
have webs, just like ducks. To shake hands properly, we must keep that
thumb up and touch webs before wrapping the fingers around the other
person s hand. Let s all stand up and try it with the person on either
side. By the way, social etiquette decreed that the woman be the one to
extend her hand first. You will still find the occasional matron or
woman from another culture who is taken aback if the man extends his
hand. In the business arena, it doesn t matter who extends the hand
first, but the one who does takes control of the situation, takes
matters in hand if you will. While you shook hands, did you notice the
other perso